Personal

Anxiety.

This is the one of the most frustrating things about having an anxiety disorder; knowing as you’re freaking out that there’s no reason to be freaked out, but lacking the ability to shut the emotion down.”

There are good days. There are great days. There are days where I am my worst enemy. Last night as I was tossing and turning in bed over analyzing everything, I started to think “WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF?” Here I am, finally happy. Finally going the right direction in life, yet my anxiety is going overtime trying to find that loophole that will make everything come crashing down. I’m just so stressed and it makes it worse because I can’t fully explain what’s going on in my head because I don’t understand it myself. I find myself not being able to sleep at night because my mind just wants to go 1000mph. I find myself grabbing my phone and trying to find clues. Find something… anything… that proves that whatever I was stressing over is real. I find myself falling into a routine of bad habits. Compulsive.

Living with anxiety is like being followed by a voice. It knows all your insecurities and uses them against you. It gets to the point when it’s the loudest voice in the room. The only one you can hear.”

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Categories: Personal

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